Pool

I went for a swim today. Full stop.

I meant yesterday. It was fun honestly – it’s been months since I last dipped my toes first and my whole body later into a big, deep, refreshingly cool pool. But the day was cloudy and raining throughout the whole afternoon.

The chilly tingling sensation reminded me much of my childhood in Ipoh. Whenever my Yee Yee was back from England, she would always take us all to a public pool in a sports arena in Ipoh-I-don't-know-where – or annoyingly, I would pester my elder cousins to take me to the pool until they got haunted by it and agree with me. Though I don’t really swim – even till now (oh well, it is slightly embarrassing) – I would do what kids like to do when they were in the pool: splash at each other, jump as if I was a meteorite, run around if it’s shallow enough or placing my hands at the curb to get around if it’s deep, try to freestyle (though it hardly improves till now), spy on girls and trying to hide my spare asset (refer below) as usual.


spare as·set /spɛər as-et/

-noun
1. an extra item or property that acts as backup
2. replacement item

-problem
3. a swelling of any degree at either the front or both sides of the abdomen , or both
4. connected to health complications e.g. obesity, bloat, Kwashiorkor, genetic hereditary
5. a persistent appearance deformity (not applicable to everyone)
6. a condition where bikinis, beaches, swimming trunks, speedos, clothing M size and below are best avoided
7. severity can result in social alienation, displacement and loss of confidence

-symbol
8. fashion trend of the 21st century
9. unhealthy lifestyle
10. the rich or the well-to-do community
11. individuals of huge apetite, alcoholic or tendency to over-eat

-synonyms 12. reserve, 13. extra, 14. replacement, 15. spare tire, 16. fatso/fatass, 17. plump, 18. tummy, 19. beer belly/ beer gut/ pot belly, 19. spare part, 20. crono


Removing those extra pounds is never easy, but gaining them back is. Before the trip to the swimming pool, I dropped by at the nearest mall to get myself a speedos that will come in handy the next time whenever I need to go to pools that require proper swimming attire. To my horror, those packets of RM 1.20 nasi lemak each morning in the office for two months and endless streams of food that I am kinda obliged to wallop down my esophagus (which the elders in my house thought that it would compensate for the weight I have lost, and for the one who did the cooking to feel good) really discouraged me to look at the mirror without any shirts on in the near future. The rest I shall leave it to your imagination and interpretation *pukes

Upon reaching the pool, the weather's turning better with the sun retreating to give way for the night to veil itself on the sky. I could see that everyone was swimming, while I paid 6 bucks to soak myself in vast amount of cold water.

Conscience: Hey! Go learn to swim better, you idiot!! Why are you wasting your six bucks? - you think it's easy to earn ah?

crono: You know I don't really swim since I am a kid right...? *sneering at Conscience* besides it's my problem lah! I am still enjoying myself anyway, and look: I am learning how to float in the wa -

A friend suddenly came towards me and with his full force despite my few water-kicks, he managed to pull me to the middle of the pool *sei lor.... (means 'die' in Cantonese). I ended up like the ants I picked up from the bucket of rice thrown to the sink filled partially with water yesterday.

Conscience: MUAHAHAHAHAHA - serves you right!!!!

crono: Ah shut - bluuup blrrp - up - blrrrp....

The funny thing which I find very abnormal and funny is that instead of like normal people who would have the words 'drowning' and 'death' flashed in their brains when in my situation, I had questions like 'Why the heck are they (my friends) so slow?...faster lah...!' flashing across my mind like the colourful LED screens you can see at any terminals. I think I would be very speechless and maybe clueless first before being hit by disappointment if afterlife exists after all and as a ghost I get to retain my memory and consciousness - if I really drown.

But too bad (?!!!), I did not drown - since blog entries can only be done by a real physical humanoid entity that posseses the ability to operate the computer and manages a blogspot account, and while you are reading this entry at the same time - so I truly apologise if you are disappointed instead. We spent a few more while after that before heading home.

During the journey back, I was contemplating if I were in deep water due to any mishap or misfortune, I couldn't guarantee that I will remember the floating lesson (it hasn't reached perfection yet) I have received just now, nor my limbs would synchronise itself to freestyle (doubt that it will even work). Most probably I would be gripped by panic and anxiety first, and before I can finally set my mind straight and response - I would have already disappeared and be observed floating motionlessly on the surface with my spare asset grown bigger few days later.

With chill sent to my spine, I yearned to return back to the pool immediately. However, the car was already rolling down the hill.