Thursday, December 27, 2007

Mamma Mia - here we go AGAIN

Over countless times, I am really shameful to even acknowledge myself as a Malaysian. This is one of those times.

On the eve of Christmas at Gurney Drive in Penang, the island folks gathered around to celebrate the coming of this year's Yuletide hold a riot to debunk the myth behind the existence of St. Nicholas like unlike most of the other places or cities on Earth. As usual - to mirror the fact that we are a species who are highly clueless, despite our greatly-praised intelligence, on what to do on the eve of festive days year after year *not anymore - gatherers marked the commencement of the highly-celebrated day riot with a countdown childlish artificial snow warfare. To ensure the smooth progress of the evening celebration riot, a small team of police was present to contain the erupting excitement operate as snow-spraying accuracy practice dummies for the crowd. The video below tells the whole story with a mixture of Hakka, Mandarin, Boo, Yay, Wah-Seh, Bluek etc narration.

At the first glance of the video, numerous questions pummelled at my brain. At the end, it looks more like the MHA (Malaysia Hooliganism Association) having a recruitment drive while spreading their teachings and running a petition to be officially recognised as a political party in disguise. It is also one of the follow-up rallies eversince the BERSIH and Hindraf which had just recently taken place. And according to eyewitness accounts and certain off-record reports together with the press, the unorganised event takes place thrice a year (eve of New Year, Merdeka and of course the most recent one, Christmas) and in a few places simultaneously most notably in KL, Penang and Johore. But suprisingly, instead of having riot-control personnel dispatched like the former two rallies, this one will only have a few police officers with maybe a Waja or two sent out to single-handedly suppress the aggresive and menacing force of the crowds who are mostly youth and physically healthier with very much smaller waistbands than them. Guess the remaining of the force were at home stealing Santa's cookies and milk.

Somehow, the most highly-anticipated and hugely-attended drive of all three is definitely going to be the one on Christmas eve, since Malaysians are really bright in this geographical point that the country has only two climatic outcomes which are either shine or rain - but not snow - due to its location near the equator. In a desperate (but vain) attempt to reenact the white Christmas that folks of the northern hemisphere enjoying but can only be watched in the idiot box by the people here, Malaysians have to resort to the cheaply and mass produced artificial snow spray sold only in canisters to create the atmosphere in a really tiny, micro degree. Elsewhere while everyone is contemplating of the possibilities of a terror Christmas, anthrax-containing presents and a suicide Santa Claus; Forbes is having a major issue in deciding should the uselessful artificial snow spray canister be totally ignored from included in its list of 'Top 100 Most Important Inventions of The Century'.

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Proper story available here - another great Malaysia Boleh! story of the 'First World Infrastructure, Third World Mentality' volume. Click here for an earlier story from the same mentioned volume.

It's noticeable from the video above and other related videos on YouTube that most of the crowd members were Chinese youth. And I have to say the pre-Christmas celebration did really look like a cheapskate Chinese version of the earlier Hindraf rally, with an added dose of hooliganism plus uncivility but minus the violence and bloodshed. People in other places/countries danced, clubbed, cheered, drank etc and some even engaged in sexual intercourse in the middle of the countdown. While some who were highly intoxicated in the Christmas spirit had already started countdown 86400 seconds before the clocks struck midnight on the eve itself. They were enjoying themselves and celebrating Christmas. And we here celebrating under the rain of empty canisters, rubbish, paper boxes etc. And after everything was over, venues everywhere looked more like white Christmas-themed dumpsters. Being a youth myself, I think these bunch of monkeys are really bored because 'fun' is not used or gained by invoking the anger of others or causing a menace, harm and damage to the public. It is also not meant for humiliating anyone including ourselves and degrading our mentality.

Look's like the conclusion I shall leave for you to draw as there's nothing much to be said about everything, from the mentality of the community to the efficiency of the authorities and the Vision 2020 joke that we are telling the whole world it's in our grasp. Because this ain't the first one, it also ain't the last one either.

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Wednesday, December 19, 2007


I went for a swim today. Full stop.

I meant yesterday. It was fun honestly – it’s been months since I last dipped my toes first and my whole body later into a big, deep, refreshingly cool pool. But the day was cloudy and raining throughout the whole afternoon.

The chilly tingling sensation reminded me much of my childhood in Ipoh. Whenever my Yee Yee was back from England, she would always take us all to a public pool in a sports arena in Ipoh-I-don't-know-where – or annoyingly, I would pester my elder cousins to take me to the pool until they got haunted by it and agree with me. Though I don’t really swim – even till now (oh well, it is slightly embarrassing) – I would do what kids like to do when they were in the pool: splash at each other, jump as if I was a meteorite, run around if it’s shallow enough or placing my hands at the curb to get around if it’s deep, try to freestyle (though it hardly improves till now), spy on girls and trying to hide my spare asset (refer below) as usual.

spare as·set /spɛər as-et/

1. an extra item or property that acts as backup
2. replacement item

3. a swelling of any degree at either the front or both sides of the abdomen , or both
4. connected to health complications e.g. obesity, bloat, Kwashiorkor, genetic hereditary
5. a persistent appearance deformity (not applicable to everyone)
6. a condition where bikinis, beaches, swimming trunks, speedos, clothing M size and below are best avoided
7. severity can result in social alienation, displacement and loss of confidence

8. fashion trend of the 21st century
9. unhealthy lifestyle
10. the rich or the well-to-do community
11. individuals of huge apetite, alcoholic or tendency to over-eat

-synonyms 12. reserve, 13. extra, 14. replacement, 15. spare tire, 16. fatso/fatass, 17. plump, 18. tummy, 19. beer belly/ beer gut/ pot belly, 19. spare part, 20. crono

Removing those extra pounds is never easy, but gaining them back is. Before the trip to the swimming pool, I dropped by at the nearest mall to get myself a speedos that will come in handy the next time whenever I need to go to pools that require proper swimming attire. To my horror, those packets of RM 1.20 nasi lemak each morning in the office for two months and endless streams of food that I am kinda obliged to wallop down my esophagus (which the elders in my house thought that it would compensate for the weight I have lost, and for the one who did the cooking to feel good) really discouraged me to look at the mirror without any shirts on in the near future. The rest I shall leave it to your imagination and interpretation *pukes

Upon reaching the pool, the weather's turning better with the sun retreating to give way for the night to veil itself on the sky. I could see that everyone was swimming, while I paid 6 bucks to soak myself in vast amount of cold water.

Conscience: Hey! Go learn to swim better, you idiot!! Why are you wasting your six bucks? - you think it's easy to earn ah?

crono: You know I don't really swim since I am a kid right...? *sneering at Conscience* besides it's my problem lah! I am still enjoying myself anyway, and look: I am learning how to float in the wa -

A friend suddenly came towards me and with his full force despite my few water-kicks, he managed to pull me to the middle of the pool *sei lor.... (means 'die' in Cantonese). I ended up like the ants I picked up from the bucket of rice thrown to the sink filled partially with water yesterday.

Conscience: MUAHAHAHAHAHA - serves you right!!!!

crono: Ah shut - bluuup blrrp - up - blrrrp....

The funny thing which I find very abnormal and funny is that instead of like normal people who would have the words 'drowning' and 'death' flashed in their brains when in my situation, I had questions like 'Why the heck are they (my friends) so slow?...faster lah...!' flashing across my mind like the colourful LED screens you can see at any terminals. I think I would be very speechless and maybe clueless first before being hit by disappointment if afterlife exists after all and as a ghost I get to retain my memory and consciousness - if I really drown.

But too bad (?!!!), I did not drown - since blog entries can only be done by a real physical humanoid entity that posseses the ability to operate the computer and manages a blogspot account, and while you are reading this entry at the same time - so I truly apologise if you are disappointed instead. We spent a few more while after that before heading home.

During the journey back, I was contemplating if I were in deep water due to any mishap or misfortune, I couldn't guarantee that I will remember the floating lesson (it hasn't reached perfection yet) I have received just now, nor my limbs would synchronise itself to freestyle (doubt that it will even work). Most probably I would be gripped by panic and anxiety first, and before I can finally set my mind straight and response - I would have already disappeared and be observed floating motionlessly on the surface with my spare asset grown bigger few days later.

With chill sent to my spine, I yearned to return back to the pool immediately. However, the car was already rolling down the hill.


Thursday, December 06, 2007

A Bothersome Thought

WARNING: This entry is not suitable for the immature (but it's ok if you are underage), the feeble-minded etc. Viewers' discretion advised.

From morning until now, a bothersome thought have invaded my conscious mental territory and made a mess out it. It seems like my egocentric personality is trading punches with my conscience.

Conscience: You bloody egocentric asshole, is winning that important to you?!!! *unleashing the famous Wong Fei Hong's Shadowless Kick*

Egocentric: Why do you care so much, take good care of yourself first dickhead! It's not like people give a damn to what you are preaching - who gives a fuck if this world turns into a barren wasteland, or people screwing with each other with guns and bombs, why must they care about those negros what, huh Af-me-ri-ca you were saying that day - when they are eating - NONSENSE! *
swaying body from left to right evading Conscience's attack with ease*

Conscience: It's African - NOT negros, you i- *received a hard solid punch into the face*

Egocentric: You're a pathetic shit...!

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Oh well, my imagination must be pretty hardworking. Anyway...

Presumably Conscience lost the fight - but not
his will

Conscience: *wiping off the almost dried blood from his mouth* Expectation - hmpph - I should be and am of my own expectation - NOT yours, sucker!

crono: You are so damn right!!!! I am so fucking proud of you - attaboy!!

I may be hypocritical, but I remained steadfast. I may be judgemental and offensive, but it's the very truth. I know of no big, great words; but at least I know what is right and wrong. I am me.

But the whole day while I am working, as the fight ensues, it does bring up some mild annoyance - it really irritates me, on the inside.


Monday, December 03, 2007

Early December

Alas, I can finally breathe!

I quitted my job on the last day of the previous month to buy myself time to rest before uni starts early next year and to clean up the mess that I left strewn around after exam had ended two months ago. Thought that I can celebrate the start of Christmas month with a good, deep sleep – but seems like things prefer to take the other turn.

Friday the 30th ended with the movie Across the Universe and Roti Boy, which at the end of the day, I was intoxicated with Hey Jude and Let It Be replaying in my head until now. Upon reaching home that night, I wish I could skip dinner and head straight to bed so that Paul McCartney and John Lennon could continue lullaby me to sleep.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah – nah, nah, nah, nah – Hey Ju..ZzzZZzz

Dec 1st, Saturday

It’s ironic that the weekend started with the annoying buzz of my alarm clock despite the fact that I don’t need to work on Saturdays anymore. Oh well, the culprit that set the alarm clock turns out to be me actually as today is not a resting day yet. But MOVE!!! GO!!! my will silently yells to yank me off my still much-needed slumber. Hence, early morning, my computer keyboard has already rattled more violently than a rattlesnake to get my mails of appreciation sent to my ex-colleagues and -employers.

By noon, after a quick lunch, it’s time to get myself properly dressed - it's the World AIDS Day Carnival in Sungai Wang Plaza organised by PT Foundation and UN with Jun (Jahui’s brother)! As volunteers, both of us are assigned as photographers – though only one camera is available. The carnival is great! Awesome performances by the LGBT community and students from universities and schools. Dedicated volunteers are to be seen everywhere doing their part to send a shockwave of stronger awareness to the public in and around the mall. But the ugly side: certain members of the public actually throw derogatory and discriminating remarks at the crowd and performers and, the vivid and arrogant ignorance carved on the faces of most people that march away from us with disgust without giving the whole social-plaguing issue a thought at all.

1 person got infected with HIV every 7 seconds
1 person died of AIDS every 11 seconds
31,200,000 are infected worldwide
2,100,000 have died worldwide in 2007 due to AIDS – 330,000 of them are innocent children

"May the awareness resonates louder and further everyday"

By evening, together with Jun’s parents, we head over to ISKL in Ampang to watch Jahui’s directorial debut play in Underground: A Montage of 6 Plays. This time, sadly, I have to skip Kechara Soup Kitchen as I have long promised and eager to watch plays or drama from ISKL students especially when he’s involved - after all he’s still one of my closest friends. The whole Montage and its content is wonderful, brilliant, perfecto! – wished that it can reach to bigger audience next time if it has the chance to be re-performed again. Thank you so much Jahui! – love ya!

December 2nd, Sunday

Another morning of the weekend where the same alarm clock initiates my day. Need to get to SGM Kaikan in Cheras early as I have a pre-show performance today. And with Kai Wei needs to prepare for his last STPM paper tomorrow, the bus seems to be the final and most feasible option - which costs me 5 minutes late due to my unfamiliarity with the bus routes.

The pre-show performance is a flop, kinda disastrous – don’t ask why. The day continues with our practice as our dance assessment is pulling nearer. At the end of the practice, I choose to talk about AIDS for the First Aid Session as yesterday was World AIDS Day and it is a topic I am familiar with. And woah - the translation to Cantonese proves to be very challenging as I am banana myself. Thankfully, Jia Enn is there to help me get the message conveyed to the group – thanks a lot.

December 3rd, Today

I got what I need!!! – an 11 hours sleep, but I still wake up in a drowsy state and planning to hop on back into the same bus that takes me to slumberland. But I resist! I fight! I protest the sleepiness in me! Instead, I still feel lazy – but NO! – time is of essence. I have so much things to do, including a major project I gave myself earlier and vowed to see it turned into a success.

I will finish it – but whether it will be successful, there will an answer, let it be.

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